Torn between two parents. Torn between the feelings of my mother and my own. Torn trying to decide what’s right and wrong.
What dictates this is the question as to what reasons lays behind the choices that lead us into believing what is viewed as wrong.
Here is an insanely exaggerated example. The death of a man. Now first thought…how did he die? Well lets say he was murdered. Next question, who was the murderer because this mans life was stolen. Right? It’s assumed he was killed by a criminal and that the man killed was innocent. What if the man who did the killing was just protecting himself…does it become alright. Some may say it does. Its only self defense. Anyways, we are all outsiders looking in and to us, its easy to claim right from wrong but behind every perceived wrong is a motive, how are we suppose to know? Murder becomes right when the “bad guy” dies. All in all, isn’t murder wrong?
Moving on, as I quickly try and get to the point. My father is having a child who will become my half sister. Now My mother holds a grudge because he put her through a lot, myself as well. I can say because of what happened, I have become a stronger person…or at least better at hiding my emotions.
The thing is, I’m quite excited to have a sister. My mother on the other hand is not. When I shared my feelings, she felt anger but later explained she was just jealous. Perhaps at the fact my father is starting a new family and he will go about his life not giving second thought to my mothers feelings while his actions will leave behind imprinted memories that consist of a rough but simple childhood and the early years of my mother as a wife.
I don’t share the same grudge as my mother, I want to move on but as I do, it brings her a bit of pain because what he did damaged her emotions deeper than mine. My mother and father gave me life, I will always love them both.
I am torn between trying to understand if its wrong of me not to choose sides, even though I know my mother has done more for me than my father ever has. There are far to many reasons that lay behind this story that it is making it difficult.